I don't know how it is for you, but for me, the gym is a struggle at least 90% of the time. Forcing myself to go to the gym after 9 hours of the corporate life is a tough thing to do. I would much rather be binge watching Mob Wives with my friends Brie and Chardonnay. When I do muster up the ability to put the TV remote down and shove my booty into my basic white girl work out leggings, I am still dreading the trip. Here are some thoughts that go through my head when venturing to the gym and attempting to be a lady boss on the treadmill.
1. Look at me - I made it to the gym. I should probably reward myself with a cookie when I get home.
2. Wait - I can't have a cookie? I just went to the gym! Ugh fine. No cookie.
3. Alright now that I am here I really have to step it up today; can't piss around on the stationary bike reading about the Kardashian family antics in Life&Style like I did last time.
4. Better look for an open treadmill...
5.Omg why is it so crowded and yet so cold? Goosebumps everywhere. So much for shaving.
6. Ooooh treadmill, ok let's stretch it out before starting this baby up for my insane 4 mile run.
7. Ok here we go slow and steady wins the race.
8. I got this. Running, running, running...
9. Omg - Creed how the fuck did you get on my Pandora station.
10. Better walk for a minute while I get my playlist in check.
11. Oooh who is that man in the blue shorts... are you new here? Mr. Blue Shorts... my oh my.
12. Ok focus bitch...Increasing speed.
13. Wait, wait this is 7 mph feels like? Why do my legs feel like they are going to pop off my body. 14. Back down to 5.5 mph... better... I think?
15. Omg why is so hot in here?
16. That guy is looking at me.
17. Have I ever sweat so much in my life?
18. Why is that skinny girl on the elliptical? Like you're already a size zero - you're done.
19. Wait - I am only at 1 mile? This thing is lying.
20. Treadmill. Must. Be. Broken.
21. Let's just power walk on an incline for a minute... catch my breath. ya know?
22. This is.... kinda nice?
23. Nope not nice. My ass feels like it's on fire.
24. Push it girl, push it. You aren't going to get that Beyoncé booty otherwise....
25. Two minutes later - oh fuck Beyoncé. She has a personal trainer and a personal chef.
26. Wow having a personal chef must be amazing... think of all the things he could make me....
27. MAC N CHEESE, PERSONAL PIZZA, CHEESECAKE
28. Must stop thinking of food.
29. No, like seriously bitch stop it.
30. Oh look I hit two miles... that's a good work out right?
31. I think it's a great workout.
32. Get me off this thing.
33. I mean it's better than sitting on my ass eating a whole pizza right?
34. Much better
35. Now let's get outta here
36. Hmmm what should I have for dinner?
37. I just "ran" two miles. I deserve a splurge meal. Am I right?!
